Sunsay
New Year's Eve in a long distance relationship: 10 ideas to share midnight
New Year's Eve is built around one moment: midnight, and who you kiss when the clock strikes. When your partner is far away, it's often the night the distance shows the most. Couples around you are clinking glasses, and you're staring at your phone, waiting for the network to cooperate.
A long distance New Year's Eve can still become a real date, as long as you plan it a little. Here are 10 ideas to share midnight, then 12 questions to look back on your year together.
Before the 31st: plan your midnight
1. Decide which midnight is yours. If you live in the same time zone, it's easy. If not, you have two midnights and you need to pick: celebrate yours, theirs, or both. New York and London are five hours apart: when the ball drops in Times Square, it's already 5 a.m. on January 1st in London. Celebrating both is often the fairest option: a short call at each midnight, so each of you gets your own countdown, with the other one on the line.
Your two midnights, seen from London on December 31st:
- New York or Toronto: their midnight is 5 a.m. on the 1st in London. London's midnight reaches them at 7 p.m., before dinner. One of you sets an alarm.
- Los Angeles: their midnight is 8 a.m. on the 1st in London, an easy New Year's breakfast call.
- Manila: midnight in Manila is 4 p.m. in London. London's midnight is 8 a.m. on the 1st in Manila.
- Sydney: midnight in Sydney is 1 p.m. in London. London's midnight is 11 a.m. on the 1st in Sydney, often the easiest time to call.
If one of you has to get up early for the other's midnight, agree on it beforehand: it's a gift, so make it a chosen one.
2. Book your own time slot. On the 31st, you're usually busy with friends or family. Agree in advance on when you will call: ten minutes before midnight, then five minutes after. Tell the people around you, so you're not hunting for a quiet corner at 11:58 p.m.
3. Plan for a bad connection. Around midnight, networks can get crowded and video calls freeze. If you go out, find a spot with wifi, or have a plan B: a voice message recorded in advance, to play at midnight sharp.
4. Send a small "open on the 31st" package. Confetti, sparklers, a handwritten note, a small bottle of the same drink you'll be having. Mail it early: holiday shipping slows down in December. For Christmas itself, see our guide to a long distance Christmas.
On the night: celebrate together, each in your own place
5. Toast on video with the same drink. Pick it together beforehand. Raising the same glass at the same moment, miles apart, changes how "apart" the night feels.
6. Do the countdown together. Start the call a minute early and count out loud. It's silly, it's short, and it's often the part you remember.
7. Read each other a letter at midnight. Each of you writes a letter about your year: what the other brought you, a moment you'll never forget. Read them to each other right after midnight. Keep them: they're even better a year later.
The questions, ready to copy
- Which moment of our year would you relive exactly as it was?
- What made you laugh the most about me this year?
- Something the distance made you love about me?
- What did you learn about us this year?
- When did you miss me the most this year?
- Which dream do you want us to make come true next year?
- Which adventure do you want us to live in the years ahead?
- How many times will we see each other next year, if all goes well?
- What promise would you like us to make each other?
- What reassures you when you think about our future?
- Your resolution for yourself, and the one for the two of us?
- In five years, what will make us laugh about this time?
On January 1st: look at the year ahead
8. Do your year in review as a couple. On the evening of the 1st, when things are quieter, take an hour to talk about your year: what was hard, what felt good, what the distance taught you. The cards above are made for this.
9. Set your next visit dates. It's the best resolution a long distance couple can make. Open both calendars and pencil in your next dates, even tentative ones. A date on the calendar helps more than any "soon".
10. Choose one resolution for the two of you. Just one, simple and doable: one more call a week, learning three words of your partner's language, planning your first trip together. Write it down somewhere you will both see it again.
If one of you is alone that night
It happens: a night shift, a country where you don't know anyone yet, a party you don't feel like going to. In that case, whoever is with people can give a little more: call earlier in the evening, send a few photos of the party, keep the call open during the countdown. And whoever is alone is allowed to say so, rather than pretend everything is fine. A quiet night together on video often beats a party where you think about your partner all night.
Questions to end the year
The 12 cards above work on the 31st while you wait for midnight, or on the 1st for your year in review. The easiest way: each of you answers on your own without peeking, then you read your answers together. That's usually where the surprises are.
- Looking back: the first five are about your year, the funny moments and the moments you missed each other.
- Looking ahead: the next seven are about what you want to do together, your promises and your next reunion.
A long distance New Year's Eve doesn't have to be perfect. What matters is that you picked a moment that belongs to the two of you, and that you start the year with a date to look forward to.
And after January 1st
The hardest part often comes right after the holidays, when everyone goes back to their routine. A small date every evening helps you stay connected.
That's what Sunsay does: one question every evening, the same one for both of you, each in your own time zone, and your answers are revealed once you have both replied. The app also keeps the countdown to your reunion, and its widgets show the time where your partner is, so you can stop doing time zone math. Several cards in this guide come from two of its decks, The future and Distance.
